Donna JamesAs a woman over 50, I’ve been experiencing nature’s wonder of aging…yes, HOT FLASHES! Women who are approaching this “fun” time of life are likely all too familiar with “Hot Flashes”. For those who aren’t familiar with this term, Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines a hot flash as “a sudden brief flushing and sensation of heat caused by dilation of skin capillaries usually associated with menopausal endocrine imbalance”. Uhhhm… “Brief flushing” my ass! I wonder if this definition was written by a man.
My definition of a hot flash? It is an overwhelming surge of unexplainable heat and sweating (sorry, perspiring) that starts unexpectedly and typically occurs at the worst possible time and in the most embarrassing place.
I live in Alberta, Canada and let me tell you, it can be damn cold in the winter… BUT not when you have a hot flash! I had to stop wearing sweaters and start dressing in layers… as these will eventually be peeled away throughout the day. You can imagine my husband’s confusion when I tried to turn the air conditioning on… in my underwear… in November! He wasn’t very happy since the AC unit had been prepped and covered up a few months earlier for the winter… not to mention it was also covered by a few inches of snow. You can imagine his pleasant surprise when I started leaving the windows open in the bedroom at night… in the dead of winter. Apparently he didn’t enjoy waking up to a nice skiff of snow… inside. I tried to explain it was because the ceiling fan didn’t cool me down enough during my – as Merriam’s definition defines them – “brief flushings”. I really think Merriam Webster needs to re-visit that definition.
If you are either starting this beautiful time in your life, are currently going through it or maybe you’re lucky enough to have surpassed these hot streaks, you know what I’m talking about. You can truly understand…
- How the hairstyle you spent all morning working on to get it “just right” starts to fall flat from the alien like steam and sweat emitting from your scalp.
- How that beautiful blouse that you took the time to carefully iron, now has two big dark sweat marks under your arm pits… and all you did for activity was walk into another room.
- How you invested in a $40 face cream, $45 foundation, $70 eyeshadow pallet, $15 mascara and eyeliner, then so painstakingly applied the products with beautiful results only to have it melt together into one shiny multi-colored layer after your first flash of the day. Imagine just how stunning it’s going to look by the end of the day!
- When the 20-ish bubbly cosmetic sales person suggested trying waterproof mascara. Newsflash!!… It doesn’t seem to work when it’s menopausal sweat! I still look like I have a baby zebra laying under my eyes by the end of the day!
- Don’t even get me started on stripping down in public. THIS is why we dress in layers!
Other than the hot flashes, turning 50 wasn’t that moment of dread that I had heard so many women talk about. Feeling old… depressed… sad. I actually felt happy, excited and proud to have gotten to where I was. In many ways it was empowering.
I knew who I was, what I wanted. I stopped sweating the small stuff and started focusing on doing what brought joy to my life. Not that my children didn’t bring joy to my life – but being in single mom mode for so many years meant that they were my focus. Seeing them grow into happy and healthy young men filled me with pride and overwhelming elation…. and then they moved out.
Now an empty nester, I was talking to my youngest son about finding a hobby. He quickly suggested I turn my love of writing into a blog. I can’t tell you how much the thought of doing that excited me. I knew right away what I would blog about. For the past few years, I have constantly been asked for advice on how to maintain a positive attitude after going through a LOT of, well, let’s just say…crap over the years! Other women have asked me how I let myself trust again… found love again as well as tips on hair, make-up and personal style. I know there are so many women who can relate to how destructive an unhealthy and abusive relationship is to your self- esteem. Over the years I have also found that for me, looking my best on the outside has definitely had a positive effect on how I’ve felt on the inside. And don’t even get me started on the healing of laughter.
So what the heck is a Haute Flash?
Being a tongue in cheek kinda gal who is currently experiencing the joys of menopause, I found that in addition to the traditional HOT flashes, I also started having what I now affectionately refer to as my “HAUTE” flashes. These are flashes of ideas, inspirations and insight of what has helped me get through the various changes in life.
I’m hoping that my stories, thoughts and ideas on love, life and laughing will help others who are facing challenging times and maybe don’t know where to start as they go through the never ending changes in life. That they can find some useful tips and advice that will help them feel better – on the inside and out. And of course bring a few laughs and smiles along the way.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first “Haute Flash”! And remember… Don’t sweat the Small Stuff!
